The Kira & Adam Report - On How They Are Doing.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on our blog. My much more frequent posts, which are photos accompanied by short descriptions, can be seen on our Facebook group located at MAJKFam@groups.facebook.com . It's a lot quicker and simpler for me. If you would like access, FB friend me at http://www.facebook.com/lipson1 and I'll invite you in.

During these past months I've been asked how Adam & Kira are doing from several of our trip followers - so I wanted to post a bit about that. I admit I'm taking a risk doing so without clearing it w/them first (or giving Jeanne the time to contribute). I like giving A & K editorial control over what we do & don't share about them publically. But this is a topic that’s near and dear, and I find that if I don’t just write & post quickly it often takes weeks or more to publish - so here goes without further delay. There may be more to follow from another MAJK'cian:

As written to me by our friend Leslie H a few days back, "What a gift for your children as well as for you and Jeanne. Do you see them already changing and deepening as people as a result of this?"

The quick response I sent back was:

Yes, they for sure are changing - quite a bit, yet in other ways not at all. A number of their assumptions about life, the way "things work", what matters most, and day-to-day living have changed. How could it not? Also, they are becoming more tolerant, resilient, and less squeamish. I think on a deeper, less superficial level they have an expanded view of the role spirituality and faith plays in many people's lives (seeing so many poor people give offerings, how it is integrated into day to day life etc. - as compared to most spiritual practice at home in the USA which is partitioned into a separate and often private part of people's lives.)

My longer response follows, along with the proviso that I will generalize my comments for A&K as a unit rather than separate between them out of deference to their privacy. (They are obviously very different people, with varying temperaments, inclinations and sensitivities:)

Adam & Kira understand much more about wealth and poverty, the more and less fortunate, and the difference between freedom and oppression. They now see that not all rulers rule on behalf of their publics, and that some chose to use power for themselves and their relations. And that democracy, freedom of speech and free choice/action is not ubiquitous. They see that there are plenty of social problems that can’t be fixed simply. For example, they get that the poverty in India isn’t reversible by simply having people like us give to the beggars. They understand that it takes schools to educate young kids, who often must work to put food on their barely surviving families’ tables, and that investing in a child’s future via education or simply allowing them to play with their friends for a few hours can be a luxury and not an assumed right. They see that many don’t have clean water, or sanitation – also a luxury for some. I’m not sure how they reconcile this to our world, where all this is a given. But then again, I can’t really reconcile it for myself either. Suffice it to say; while this is quite a lot to take in for the average American child, A&K have absorbed it with openness, integrity, curiosity and sensitivity.

Yes, they certainly are more aware of the human plight and where we fit into the overall World’s population.

They see that not everything is predictable and makes sense, that we have a lot less control over our circumstances than they previously thought, and that life is not always "fair."

A&K (like most all children) are curious and more aware of whatever's going on around them than most adults would give them credit for. They notice lots consciously, and probably even more sub-consciously. So, they’re taking in lots and lots every day. Picture that we are traveling through the impoverished, harsh, alien, yet lovely, spirited, colorful, magical 3^rd world and that we as parents have much less control over our children’s’ environments and what they are exposed to, than is true while at home. Also, recognize that there are plenty of times when it is far more important that they take on more responsibility for the “team” than would be the case at home, with a more direct and abrupt feedback loop. For example, “Guys - you have to wake up NOW and get your backpack on immediately. The train is about to stop and disembark, even if it is only 4:30AM.” or “Watch out. Stick close. The crowds are thick and confronting, and there’s puddles of fetid water about.” Then add 24-7 togetherness, an absence of peers and friends, and lack of any personal space. OK – you’re beginning to get the picture of their life on the road.

So - how’s all this affecting A & K, and how are they doing with it all?

First I’ll say that the allure of travel, and the promise of specific experiences that excite them the most (like elephant riding, seeing the Taj Mahal, going on Safari, etc.) fuel them quite a bit. It gives them more will to endure challenge than they had back home, which has a maturing affect on them. They appreciate they are doing something remarkable and challenging. They have been told countless times (ad naseum) by travelers and locals how fortunate they are to be on this tour. They get it! They are more realistic about things. Their Pollyanna bubble has been removed faster than if we had stayed home. Yet they still love this bubble and cling to it when they can – and I can’t blame them - I think most people, no matter their age, are seek this to some extent. They seem OK about this – not bitter, but rather accepting. This is another maturing factor. I think they know themselves and their capabilities better. They make friends with adults more easily, as there are few kids about. (I love watching them chat up a traveler or a local, order in a restaurant, or Make their own purchases.) So – in a very real sense they are growing up faster – it’s evident to me in just 3 months – trying new foods, tolerating the challenge of limited communications, and being required to fend for themselves all the more.

But on the flip side they are still children. They can drone on and on about “not wanting to tour today” or “do we have to do our school work?” or “I miss this or that at home.” They will often prefer to play, read or just watch the tube rather than go experience the outside world – understandable, yet it can be quite frustrating and create palpable tension. They still whine and don't listen at times when we really wish they would (and I find we sometimes have less tolerance for this away than when at home.) There have been several times when the desire (for them it may be more a “need”) to go back to our room for whatever reason far outweighs the allure of seeing the next amazing sight or experience. This can take away any momentum that we’ve generated – and put us back in the thick gravity zone of our room, which can easily take an hour or more break out of.

The armchair psychologist in me thinks all children want to exercise more and more control for themselves as they grow up. A&K are now in a situation where by definition they have less rather than more control over their environment, and that this is challenging for them. So they find other, often infuriating to me, places to exercise control (what to eat, how long to ignore our pleas to get out of bed or start school work, what to refuse to do, etc.) My hope is that my understanding this makes me a bit more gracious and spacious, when we begin downward spiraling into this dynamic.

But all in all, A & K are growing in leaps and bounds. They are certainly more worldly, accommodating and self-sufficient. They have tested their limits to further extremes than they previously knew (such as a very vertical and hot 12 mile “trek” in the hills of Laos, walking through the overwhelming density of Old Delhi, or digging deep to see a famous site while dealing with fatigue or days of bad traveler’s tummy or some other malady.) They are more aware of the importance of defending their personal boundaries & space, a by-product of dozens of people/day wanting to touch or photograph them, and countless vendors and beggars appealing to them all the time. They are more patient. They have a far better appreciation that there are many ways to live, be, and enjoy life. And they take far, far less for granted. Yet, they are still privileged kids with privileged expectations – and that’s just fine with all 4 of us.

I've felt road weary this past week. Sometimes the strain of making dozens of decisions into the unknown most every day, combined with moving from place to place, combined with having virtually no personal space/time (i.e. - living in a single guest house room together, doing almost EVERYTHING together, etc.), combined with vigilant watch over health/wellness combined with ........, can sporadically erode any or all of our spirits. And occasionally this spark gets fanned and spreads from one to another, and leads to a cranky MAJK Fam. So I began briefly wondering, "Are we beginning to get traveled out? Are we up for another 4 months of this? Do the gains justify the effort?" I checked in w/both A&K. “What do you guys think? Do you want to keep going? Are you enjoying this? Would you rather go back home early if you could?" Knowing they miss their friends, bedrooms, cat and access to our fridge (and much, much more), I was a bit surprised at the quickness and clarity of their response. "Of course we want to keep traveling! Go home now? Are you crazy? (Authors note - obviously I am, or I would not have set this whole thing in motion months back.) There's so much more we want to see and do. This is amazing. Plus, we would have to go back into the classroom 5 days/week? And miss seeing Israel, and Africa, and ...?"

There you go – the A&K report. Would be happy to answer any specific questions you may have – so let em fly if you like.

~Michael~

My Experiences in India

This post is by Adam.

First of all I am writing this on a train from Delhi, India to Goa, India. It supposedly was from 3:00 pm to 5:45 am so we woke up early to get off. When we were up, we waited and waited for our stop. By eight o’clock it still hadn’t come. By that time my dad was on the computer looking up when our train arrived at our station. It said 5:45 am…but the next day. Our train was twenty-four hors longer than we thought!
That was just an update on what I’m doing now, but there were so many amazing experiences that I had in India. This is my one favorite from each city, a tiny portion of all of them.

The Jiapur elephant festival and Holi. At the elephant festival they painted elephants and had a contest for the best painting. Later they did a dance and threw flower petals everywhere. On Holi, the festival of color, (it was the day after the elephant festival) everybody walks around and smears color on your face. I got so colorful! Hopefully you will hear more about this from Kira.

Ramana’s Garden children’s home and school in Rishikesh. When I went there I met a boy my age named Oinak. Together, we played Frisbee, swam in the holy Ganga river (Ganges in English), and just talked. He was the first boy my age I had met on the whole trip so it was really fun.

The bicycle rickshaw tour in Delhi. We were peddled though the extremely crowded streets, barely missing motorbikes, cars, horse pulled carts, and wandering cows (they’re holy and nobody owns them so they just walk around eating the garbage that is everywhere). My favorite destination was the wholesale spice market. There, you can buy one hundred to five hundred kilogram sacks of turmeric, coriander, and all the other spices used in Indian cooking. As you can imagine, the smells were overpowering. Sometimes we passed a stall with only hot chili peppers! I thought it was amazing

In Agra, definitely the Taj Mahal. It is GIANT! The inlaid stones are so amazing. I also loved how it is made entirely of white marble. Words can hardly describe it but a few pictures might.

I really loved those experiences in India and I can’t wait for more in Goa.